My parents think I’m stupid, then I must be

My parents think I’m stupid, then I must be. This is the conclusion that a child would  arrived after hearing thousands of times, how his parents call him stupid. In his teens he’ll still think I’m stupid.

And when he turned forty perhaps  he’ll bury  this feeling inside him. So that others would not notice his  weakness. But whenever  he do  something  wrong, he  will still think that is because he is  stupid, and unable to do anything right.

The reason I start this post like this. Is to confess my utter annoyance to some self-help books.
And believe me I have read many. Some of the titles: the power of now, conversation with God, my  inner bitch , the secret, the compass, who moved my cheese. peaks and valleys, the four great truths of happiness … etc. And they all claim that an adult can suddenly change and become someone different and new.
And none of them came up said, that most  the adult problems we have, come from our childhood. I do not think anyone is born adult. This is not the case of Benjamin Button.
What makes us who we are as adults is much deeper than the vision of the  an inappropriate image on tv.

I sincerely believe that to help change an adult, you first need to make him  embrace his  inner child. Asking him one question. When did you start to think this about yourself?
All these books advertised fast  life changing .  Make  things  look  very simply . You  just  have to  order your life in 7 days. Meditate few hours. Others say you have to hear a cd every day in your car, and  repeats, how  important  you are , you can achieve your goals, now is what matters . But  how  they  thing  someone who had  been forty years, thinking I’m unable to do anything right, weak and scared can suddenly change . They  want  this  person ton change  and become a new person with few  exercises. When in the background he  still the child who his parents used to call stupid all the time.

First I will have to meet that little kid. Tell him, he  had  never been stupid. That his parents were wrong. Her teacher was negligent, and didn’t do  a good job. That his childhood friends were cruel, because he was an easy target. And not because he was stupid, or worthless.
That the adults he  trusted, were not worthy of his trust.
As adults, it costs us forgive our weaknesses. But we live with them. But as children we accept the damage, but we can not forgive our weaknesses. Because we believe blindly that we are guilty of them. Because accept that  those  who  have  to protect, educate, love, us ,are negligent. is too painful.

We  can’t wait  an adult to transform into a new person, for overnight. When he still an 8-year-old kid sitting in a corner , feeling  guilty for not being good enough, smart, funny, talkative, handsome . But mostly ,loved and protected by those who have brought him to this  world.
I’m not saying that self-help books to be ineffective. But I firmly believe that, they are more effective if you have worked your inner child.

After injury ,You don’t  put a band-aid  directly to a wound. You have to clean it  first, dry and cover. Otherwise it never heal.

My conclusion if you want to change your life, ask yourself these two questions .

1-How was I before have these beliefs I have about myself ?

2-How would I be if I hadn’t  these thoughts about myself ?

And Last : Forget everything you think you know about yourself. And begins  reconstruct yourself again.

You may be surprised.

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6 comentarios en “My parents think I’m stupid, then I must be

  1. I agree! What you are at the altar of adult ‘coz of childhood. I would like to expand your thought little more with all respect.

    Childhood is something which is like a bud in the garden, which needs to be nurtured time to time. It needs, water, proper sun-light, caring hands and of course a dedication to make it blossomed. If it does not get one out these things, flower’s young stage speaks volumes that it missed something. Same goes with childhood! If any of the God made emotions is overlooked or brushed aside during a childhood of anyone, the adult tells its story in its behavior by handling the society at large. [ It seems, i have expanded your thought beyond limit! Apologies if i did so…:) ]

    regards,
    Sid 🙂

    1. Don’t worry about reach out, I think it’s great you to expand my post. That way more people will understand what we mean. And because the issue is so important that we need to expand the question.
      Thank you very much for visiting my blog and give your opinion.
      Feel free to comment as often as you want

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